Our Journey Through The Wilderness

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J
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Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby J » Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:10 pm

We certainly owe a thanks to our dilligent administrator and others who have worked to preserve our little community. And, of course we can look to brighter future; consider how a difficult shared experience creates a spirit of unity, be it in boot camp or a fraternity hazing.
Perhaps this thread can be an opportunity for us to share our experiences these past few days - something to reflect on now and to return to later when, for a moment, we miss a step and lose our way.

To start, here is my story.


As I pay the taxi driver I step out to see that the Air Disaster terminal seems strangly vacant. An over head sign is hanging down and a crowd of people is milling about on the sidewalk. Empty bottles of beer are underfoot and there is a whif of ammonia in the air. Off to the side a sky cap is arguing with a man pulling grips from a Mercedes Benz, a pilot's cap perched rakishly on his head. Next to him a woman wearing a turquoise necklace is helping a man down off a horse - he appears to be wearing a faded a WWII pilot's uniform. Grabbing my carryon I push though to the front of the crowd only to see that the glass doors are locked. Taped to the inside is a scrawled note:

At about 3 pm U.S. Pacific Time today, the web server that hosted the AirDisaster.Com forums suffered a catastrophic failure which rendered both hard drives useless and irrecoverable. Unfortunately, one drive in this server contained the live forums database, and the other contained the daily database backups.

With this in mind, I'm sorry to report that, effective immediately, the AirDisaster.Com Discussion Forums are closed permanently.


Clearly this is hopeless. If only I can get over to the shiny new Jet Photos Terminal, perhaps I can rebook my flight. I press through back over to the edge of the sidewalk. There is a pale young man standing there holding a sign saying "My Dog Died Today." Ignoring him I dodge a careening Supershuttle van and skip back onto the curb. Between the two terminals I can catch a glimpse of the ramp area. A fuel truck is backing up, barely missing the rotating propeller of a Metroliner. The driver is sticking his arms out the window looking at the pilot with a sort of, "What the hell is your problem" look on his face. In the distance I can see flashing red lights next to an A340 that seems to be parked at an unusual altitude. While these are generally very long planes, this one seems somehow shorter in the late afternoon gloom.

Pressing through the doors of the Jetphotos terminal I see suitcases spread haphazardly on the floor and gate agents are shouting something at the crowd. I can't understand what they are saying through their cupped hands so I make my way to one of the check in kiosks. Next to me a man is patiently explaining that economic globalization inevitably claims its victims to a man wearing a leather belt clip holding a slide rule.

My American Express card seems to work as the kiosk instructs me to log in. I figure I'll simply use my AirDisaster name but the kiosk indicates it must have at least three characters. I fumble with various instructions on the screen and finally get what I assume is a bording pass. Again elbowing my way through the crowd I find the security line snaking back and forth almost all the way back to the shuttered AirDisaster terminal. It seems like hours wading through the line as back and forth I catch snippets of conversation from the same people each time we pass. I hear a Canadian discussion "aboot" how heavy the snow is this year in Moncton. The next time we pass there is something about the absolute ceiling of an MD11. Then there is that couple - the woman suggestively snuggling up to the man and laughing discreetly about something I can't hear. A man in dusty work boots is carrying a battered leather grip with a Quantas sticker. I heard him saying something about a pickup truck being flattened by a mining truck.

At last I have arrived at the front of the line and hand my boarding pass and passport to the sleepy-looking security clerk. The person takes a fat pencil and scrawls and "X" on the pass and thanks me for shopping at K Mart.

Now the line splits into several security lines. Which one should I choose? There are a couple of students with bulging backpacks. No, I'm not going to wait for them to empty their pockets of I-Pods, Game Boys and all the other junk that the Entertainment Generation cannot live without. On the right I see a deadheading captain approaching the table with the grey bins. He's already removed his boots and is holding his laptop computer in his other hand. That's the line. Stepping behind him I removed all metal items from my pockets and place them in my computer bag. I place my compute in the same bin as my plastic bag of liquids and gels. I place my shoes directly on the belt and step through the magnatometer, handing my boarding pass to the TSA agent. Scowling he announces, "This Boarding Pass Has Not Yet Been Approved by the Moderators!" I then hear those six words that strike fear into any traveler: "Would You Mind Stepping Over Here?"

I don't have a problem with authority. It is always, "Thank you for taking the time to be so careful with your duties. It makes me feel so safe knowing you are on the job!" This time, however, I apparently failed to stifle a grimace and the agent next advises, "We'll need to take a careful look at your bag and would you please remove your belt." I am directed to a plexiglass-walled area and patiently wait while the agent upends my bag and dumps several Playboy magazines and a Payday candy bar on the counter for all to see. In the distance I can see into an adjacent room where a clear toilet stands. Looking back, the agent is now squirting ink from my fountain pen into a trash can. Some of it drips onto one of my neckties. A woman is walking by the clear partition shielding her daughter's eyes with a ticket wallet as I remove my belt. I should explain that each Christmas as a little joke my wife buys me another pair of novelty boxer shorts. As the years have passed, most of my regular shorts have become car rags and today I'm wearing a pair with a big smiley face that says, "Lucky in Love." I'm not lucky today and the agent grunts in disgust as she instructs me to hold out my arms and my pants fall to the ground. Ignoring my plight, the agent slowly wands me front to back and side to side. My pilot's chronometer causes a strange beep on the device and I shrug my shoulder so she can see it is just a fancy watch with several dials I don't know how to use. "OK you can go," she says. I hitch up my pants, stuff my ink-stained neck tie along with my magazines and candybar into my grip, gather up my computer and walk briskly away. I have cleared security and am now in the JetPhotos departure area'

To Be Continued...
Last edited by J on Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:48 pm, edited 7 times in total.

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Half Bottle
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Half Bottle » Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:00 pm

To be continued, indeed. I'd say your travels since you first arrived in the jp.net departure line have only gotten stranger.
~~~ In Oxford Town, you smell like dead lab rats. ~~~

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GerryW
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby GerryW » Sat Feb 02, 2008 6:55 pm

...exotic places you have visited.

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Verbal » Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:06 pm

Let me be the first to invoke the traditional AD rallying cry, "Brill-yunt!"
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

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J
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby J » Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:33 pm

Giles checked in to Jet Net and I sent him a PM to come over here. Things are getting pretty tense over there. Imagine the following directed at our Verbal!
I've edited it to remove the offensive language but kept original spelling. I'll have to disuss this in the next installment.

[quote]Originally Posted by pkonowrocki
Shut the :oops: up. That's enough. You guys pissed me off allready with your gay comments and :oops: replies to evey thread. You are the :oops: refugees who came here from some retarded website, where aviaiton safety freaks meet. You invaded our forums. We tried to accept you, but you clearly tried to :oops: it up. And you did, by putting your :oops: in evey possible thread, leaving pointless replies. You only prooved you have no life outside the internet, by spending most of the time on the forums, and posting tons of threads in the otf. I bet most of you are fifty yearl old virgins, who have never even kissed a girl and are :oops: off to a picture of another airplane, you can dig in jp.net database.
Verbal, you idiot, it's none of your :oops: business if the girl in my avatar in my girlfriend. She does not have a :oops: bottle blonde hair, and she smokes cose she wants to. And fyi, we are planing to get married this or next summer, and it is no :oops: joke. Now go our get a life. Like I allready said to some members here, go to a :oops: club, get a chick and get laid. There's life outside jp.net nad ad.net. People are living their lives like me, enjoying evey moment of it.
Now I know Im banned for this :oops: . At least I get banned after I say what I really think about those :oops: ingretards from ad.net. I wouldn't react that way if it was only about me, but saying :oops: about my girlfriend? That's too much.
Thanks to all ad.net retards for ruining jp.net.

To original jp.net members - have fun, I'm banned, one member less.

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GerryW
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby GerryW » Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:40 pm

Jeez! This guy was pissed. When I see all his typos!

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Verbal » Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:46 pm

The poor fellow got his wish and was banned.

And I insist I am not a fifty year-old virgin, whatever he may urge to the contrary. I am only 44.
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

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FrankM
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby FrankM » Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:21 pm

J wrote:Originally Posted by pkonowrocki


Just one question: what was his name before the earthquake ?
Wir sind dann mal oben !

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby ZilogMan » Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:30 pm

FrankM wrote:
J wrote:Originally Posted by pkonowrocki


Just one question: what was his name before the earthquake ?


I don't know, Frank, but I have two comments about this issue:

1- Maybe Mr. pkonowrocki SHOULD get a life, yes, there is life beyound the Internet.

2- He said many times in twisted phrasing that he wasn't happy here (Canada). Well, if he's not happy here, maybe he should "Get the %$&# out of my country". ;)
Don, Say Hi to Amelia Earhart for us...

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J
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby J » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:00 am

As I leave the confusion of the security area I head over to the arrivals and departure screens to check the status of my flight. Bah!, it shows “delayed” with no departure time posted. "OK, I know how to play this game. Let's see, I'm supposed to depart from D24 so let's see whose coming in to that gate and where he's at.” Stepping to the right I start reading the arrival screens sideways looking for D24. I've checked three screens but find nothing. One of the TV screen has a hazy, flickering image, hopefully that's not the one I want. But I get to the end and haven't seen my gate. Yep, it was the bad screen. But no worries; even if the plane was on time I would have had about 25 minutes before boarding. Heading down the concourse I step into the mens room and set my bags on the infant changing shelf. There is a lot of water on the floor next to the wall-mounted porcelain conveniences - hopefully it's water. As I finish, two younger men walk in arguing something about an Audi. One of them seems to have a thick accent and insists he really does own a car but it is too dirty to show to anyone. I am more interested to learn that there is no soap in the sink dispenser but at least there are some paper towels. I rinse off my glasses and wipe them with a towel. Someone coughs and next I hear the thunderous rush of a toilet flush. The water starts spilling onto the floor and out from under the stall.

Back out in the concourse I head for D24. It's interesting how much it looks like the old AirDisaster terminal. I don't have too much trouble finding my way around although the clientel seems younger here. I hear youthful bragging and lusty hoots as I walk by a sports bar. Some of the patrons do not yet appear to be 21, I guess the bartender isn't too particular about whom he serves.

I'm now a few hundred yards down the concourse and see that it splits in two right at a McDonald's. A round-faced yellow man tenderly has his arm around an elderly woman who seems distressed. He looks familiar and I can hear him telling her that he is her friend. I now see another set of arrival / departure screens and D24 now shows “on time.” I wonder what that was about. D24 is just ahead and I see some familiar faces milling about the counter. The agent is announcing that a plane is being brought in from the hanger to operate this flight and we should be leaving close to on time. I still have a few minutes so I walk over to the shuttle gates – maybe I can swipe a free newspaper or magazine from the racks installed for this competive service. Here the passengers are more to my liking. Grownups talking quietly on cell phones or working on laptops. Stacks of reading material have been placed next to the gates. Let's see, there is a magazine about Florida time shares, another called Latin America Trade Associations. Pretty dull. I don't pick up a magazine devoted to Bic pen collecting either. Wait, here's a girlie magazine someone must have left in the stack. It certainly wouldn't be anything provided by JetNet!


girlie magazine.jpg
girlie magazine.jpg (32.56 KiB) Viewed 3028 times

However, it is not my type so I set it back on the pile next to a week-old Wall Street Journal.

There's no seating room at my gate but I find a red-colored seat across the hall that is stenciled for passengers needing assistance with courtesy carts. The agent announces that we'll be a little late but should begin boarding in a few minutes. Before sitting down I'd checked the end of the jetway where no plane was waiting. Sure, it will only be a few minutes if the crew (who is not standing anywhere around here) doesn't want to do a safety check and conduct their briefings. But here they come and there sure are a lot of them. Three flight crew members and about 10 cabin attendents. What kind of plane is this going to be? The captain confidentially strides up to the gate agent who hands him about 25 feet of printed paper. He starts unrolling it and tears off about a foot, handing it to his first officer.

Looking through the crowd I now can see a rotating beacon – not a strobe - of an aircraft slowly rolling parallel to the concourse. I try to focus and listen. It looks like a large plane and, yes I can hear the sound of two RB-211 engines. I can tell the sound of a Rolls Royce engine just like I am pretty good at estimating climb rate when I look out a cabin window. How about that; an L1011. [Editors note: the crew was taxing the plane on 2 engines to save fuel.] Maybe JetNet isn't so bad after all. I've already nodded to a few old friends here; maybe we'll all do just fine although like many,k I'll be missing some of those old threads.

Being a newcomer to JetNet my boarding pass shows Zone 14 so there is not much point in approaching the gate yet. The agent has left the counter and headed down the jet way. I hear the mighty engines spool down as the jet way lurches backwards and forwards as the driver striggles to line it up with the big plane. It seems to take several minutes to raise the jetway to the proper height – I guess the last plane at this gate must have been some regional flight. Soon the door bursts open and two scruffy men in mechanical jump suits edge their way through the crowd and head down the concourse. I hear one of them muttering something about the ground controller.

The crew now heads down the jetway and people quicly begin to jam up around the door. By the time I board there probably won't be any bins left but maybe I can smash both bags under the seat. I shake my Chase-Durer Blackhawk Mach III watch; we're already about 25 minutes late but I'm flying non-stop this time – no need to get agitated. I now hear the announcement for pre-boarding and am amazed at all the infirm people on this flight who, “need a little extra time to board.” Half of these rookies don't have their tickets out of the envelope and a bunch are fumbling with their Identification cards. A woman with two infants is trying to move up to the front behind all the invalids.

I'm feeling a little dazed as I continue sitting on one of those chair units with the arms to prevent people from sleeping. Some guy walks up and sits down behind me facing the other way. I ignore him and watch the crowd at the gate. “Pssst,” the man says conspiratorially out of the side of his mouth. “What are you doing wasting your time here.” “Huh,” I reply. “Are you talking to me?” “Listen.” he says, “Try out the unofficial Airdisaster Forums. Here's the address,” he says handing me a slip of paper with http://airdisaster.netfreehost.com/inde ... irdisaster written on it. Maybe I will check it out.
Last edited by J on Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:01 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Sparky
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Sparky » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:06 am

J wrote: Originally Posted by pkonowrocki.


I think he did it to avoid posting a picture of the car he didn't have...

Sparky :ugeek:

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby sindeewell » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:18 am

Sparky wrote:
J wrote: Originally Posted by pkonowrocki.


I think he did it to avoid posting a picture of the car he didn't have...

Sparky :ugeek:

I agree with you Sparky. He was a young guy with a big mouth. That was what I found difficult with the jp.net site. It was indeed a younger set and while we have our fare share of "youngsters" (note: IMMATURE) individuals here, most of us have experienced a little of what life has to offer. Little Mr. P thought that he was King Shit of Turd Island for all of his little pals who really didn't know the difference. When we landed in there, it stirred up the pot and he didn't know what to do.

Of course, I could be completely off base and maybe he's just a jerk...who knows...who cares.

NOTE TO J: I absolutely love your story. Please continue it. It is an incredible piece of work Thank you for putting so much effort into it! It is appreciated.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ~ WOW, what a ride~!!!

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Sparky » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:21 am

sindeewell wrote:
Sparky wrote:
J wrote: Originally Posted by pkonowrocki.


I think he did it to avoid posting a picture of the car he didn't have...

Sparky :ugeek:

I agree with you Sparky. He was a young guy with a big mouth. That was what I found difficult with the jp.net site. It was indeed a younger set and while we have our fare share of "youngsters" (note: IMMATURE) individuals here, most of us have experienced a little of what life has to offer. Little Mr. P thought that he was King Shit of Turd Island for all of his little pals who really didn't know the difference. When we landed in there, it stirred up the pot and he didn't know what to do.

Of course, I could be completely off base and maybe he's just a jerk...who knows...who cares.

NOTE TO J: I absolutely love your story. Please continue it. It is an incredible piece of work Thank you for putting so much effort into it! It is appreciated.


Yeah, they really didn't know what hit them!

But he really lost it!

And I concur re: J's post, do continue please!

Sparky

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Thunder Down Under
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Thunder Down Under » Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:54 am

J wrote:
(snip) A man in dusty work boots is carrying a battered leather grip with a Quantas sticker. I heard him saying something about a pickup truck being flattened by a mining truck. (snip)


[b]To Be Continued...


......mmmmmhhhh.....someone we know?.... :shock:

TDU :mrgreen:
I don't have a plan........therefore nothing can go wrong.....

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Half Bottle » Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:58 am

What would happen if pworkornholedildo actually tried to read and comprehend what J wrote above? I think he would immediately combust as though matter met anti-matter in a giant medical-isotope calutron.
~~~ In Oxford Town, you smell like dead lab rats. ~~~

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Princess Leia » Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:14 am

I think we should send him an invitation.
May a plethora of uncultivated palaeontologists raise the dead in a way that makes your blood boil

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby einesellesenie » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:17 am

Princess Leia wrote:I think we should send him an invitation.



I agree... and also start a candle light vigil there.

Folks, do you think I should use the full content of his "Ey fag" PM message as my signature here?

J: as Verbal said, brill-yunt
From listening comes wisdom, and from speaking repentance... and f*** lossy compression

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Princess Leia » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:25 am

I think so. a\Also, he should be offered moderator status.
May a plethora of uncultivated palaeontologists raise the dead in a way that makes your blood boil

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby einesellesenie » Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:35 am

Princess Leia wrote:I think so. a\Also, he should be offered moderator status.



Nah, it is too big: I'll leave it here, though, for your appreciation.

pkonowrocki wrote:Ey fag
Listen you better get the f*ck off my girlfriend, understand ? You are slowly getting on my nerves, I knew you, f*cking refugees from ad will be a pain in ass, but I did not know you can be that f*cking annoying. Hey, how about you go out sometime, maybe go clubbing and get laid ? Unless of course your another homo on these forums. Then I suggest that you spend your time and energy talking to another jp.net members, who prefer guys and rubber d*cks. Trust me there's a lot of them here..
So once again leave my girlfriend alone, understand ?

Now go get some f*cking life...


And to think it all started when he refused to post a picture of his Audi...
From listening comes wisdom, and from speaking repentance... and f*** lossy compression

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Thunder Down Under
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Thunder Down Under » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:20 am

einesellesenie wrote:.


And to think it all started when he refused to post a picture of his Audi...[/quote]

.......WOT!.....WOT!......no picture of his girlfriend?..... :twisted: :twisted: :o

TDU :mrgreen:
I don't have a plan........therefore nothing can go wrong.....

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Digger » Sun Feb 03, 2008 1:48 pm

This journey really has been rather interesting, although not necessarily enjoyable.

I do have to say though, that the best part was when our unwashed hoard descended on the sleepy JP nation, sacking and burning their villages, slaughtering their women, and raping their livestock...err, whatever it was we did. That was just plain old fun.

Can we do that to some other forums? :D

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby sindeewell » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:08 pm

Half Bottle wrote:What would happen if pworkornholedildo actually tried to read and comprehend what J wrote above? I think he would immediately combust as though matter met anti-matter in a giant medical-isotope calutron.


I just don't think that he gets what it would mean....especially the matter meeting the anti-matter in a giant medical-isotope calutron...
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ~ WOW, what a ride~!!!

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J
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby J » Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:15 pm

Here is another example of the hostile land we've left behind. The attached post - somewhat benign, I'd think - is one of Melissa's screen shots of a MD10 on Flight Tracker. After some snooty comments it was locked. Concidence? You decide.

http://forums.jetphotos.net/showthread.php?t=42332

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Half Bottle
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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby Half Bottle » Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:17 pm

J wrote:Here is another example of the hostile land we've left behind. The attached post - somewhat benign, I'd think - is one of Melissa's screen shots of a MD10 on Flight Tracker. After some snooty comments it was locked. Concidence? You decide.

http://forums.jetphotos.net/showthread.php?t=42332


Good lord, what anal moderators.

Melissa, I welcome your first update on how things are done safely in the industry here.
~~~ In Oxford Town, you smell like dead lab rats. ~~~

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Re: Our Journey Through The Wilderness

Postby J » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:10 pm

I rememberd this thread had been a source of amusement awhile back and so stopped to take a look and see where it had gone. Can it be coincidence that while The Music died 50 years ago, the last post of this thread was 1 year ago?


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