Karl had a persistent boner.

Off topic posts are welcome in this forum!

Moderators: el, FrankM, Dmmoore

User avatar
schmusimausi73
Mrs. Salami
Posts: 941
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:54 pm

Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby schmusimausi73 » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:47 pm

Submitted by Winny.
Karl and I found each other online. He was a good-looking gym rat and seemed smart and mature enough. We set up a date after a week of talking to each other.

We met outside of a restaurant. I didn't see him coming and he tapped me on my shoulder. I spun to meet his smile.

"Nice to meet you," he said, and he reached to embrace me in a hug. But then, I saw it, and by that time, it was impossible to un-see.

Karl was in spandex pants. And he had a boner.

The hug lasted all of a second before I pulled away and said, "Wow. Look at those pants."

"You think so? Sorry. They were all I had to wear. Can you see my boner?"

"Sure can."

"Good. Let's do dinner."

Dinner was awkward. For the first few minutes, he tried to make his boner go down by moving it between his legs. Finally, he said that it would probably go away on its own and that we should ignore it.

The rest of dinner went as well as could be, although I was having serious second thoughts about the guy. We were able to keep the conversation away from boners, and I hoped that it wouldn't come up again.

It did. "Whoa," he said, reaching down to himself, "I think we've got a situation, here."

"For God's sake," I pushed my plate away and said, "Can you cut it out?"

He said, "Don't know much about men, do you? We can't exactly control it. I've always had a meaty boner."

"Can we get the check?"

"No problem!"

He paid for dinner, and once we were outside, I extended my hand to him to ensure that there would be no hugging. He shook it, said, "Sorry about my boner," and wished me a good night.

This was years ago, but I remember it as if it happened yesterday. Unfortunately.

User avatar
Not_Karl
Posts: 2096
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:12 pm
Location: Buenos Aires

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Not_Karl » Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:52 am

That's why you shouldn't think on the 787's wingbox while on a date.
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

User avatar
ZeroAltitude
Posts: 1367
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:35 am
Location: 127.0.0.1

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby ZeroAltitude » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:08 am

That's why more advanced designs use retractable gear instead of fixed gear.
space intentionally left blank

User avatar
3WE
Posts: 4252
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:37 pm
Location: Flyover, America

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby 3WE » Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:47 pm

I'm confused.

Do you land with the gear up or the gear down?
Commercial Pilot, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Plant Nutrient Division.

User avatar
Rabbi O'Genius
Posts: 610
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:37 am
Location: France

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Rabbi O'Genius » Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:23 pm

I believe that the time-honoured technique is to cautiously approach the strip with gear extended, though prepared to go around for an alternate approach if requested.
......never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. – John Donne

User avatar
schmusimausi73
Mrs. Salami
Posts: 941
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:54 pm

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby schmusimausi73 » Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:46 pm

I believe that the time-honoured technique is to cautiously approach the strip with gear extended, though prepared to go around for an alternate approach if requested.
I like this tactic :mrgreen:

David Hilditch
Posts: 1201
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 7:33 pm
Location: Washington DC

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby David Hilditch » Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:52 pm

I believe that the time-honoured technique is to cautiously approach the strip with gear extended, though prepared to go around for an alternate approach if requested.
What if it's a dead stick landing ?

User avatar
Rabbi O'Genius
Posts: 610
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:37 am
Location: France

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Rabbi O'Genius » Thu Dec 08, 2011 5:00 pm

What if it's a dead stick landing ?
I believe that, correctly handled, a restart is possible...
......never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. – John Donne

User avatar
Verbal
Posts: 3318
Joined: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:04 pm
Location: Planet Bacterion

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Verbal » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:15 pm

Perhaps Karl was hiding a snow shovel in his pants.
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

User avatar
Sickbag
Posts: 2840
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:10 pm
Location: Spine-fuhrer of Hoboken

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Sickbag » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:21 pm

Any pandas involved?
TRUMP: in-presidency structural break-up
within 18 months...

Peter_K
Posts: 655
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:36 pm
Location: Poland

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby Peter_K » Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:24 pm

I believe that, correctly handled, a restart is possible...
...assuming there is still some fuel left in the wing tanks.

OldSowBreath
Posts: 1420
Joined: Sat Apr 12, 2008 6:16 pm

Re: Karl had a persistent boner.

Postby OldSowBreath » Thu Dec 08, 2011 9:05 pm

"Meaty Boner" was my high school garage band.


Return to “Off Topic Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests