Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

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schmusimausi73
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Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:17 pm

phone!
Submitted by Janie:

Chris was an engineering grad student at a nearby university. His online profile made him appear smart, fun, and unusually deep. Plus, we liked a lot of the same music, so I decided to give him a chance. Our first date was in a public park.

It turned out that he was very fascinated with himself, and didn't seem too into me at all. At one point, he said, "Wow, so you're a teacher? That's very interesting! I'm so lucky to be on a date with a teacher." You know, like I was a 5-year-old.

He talked a lot about polymer engineering, and asked to see my cell phone. It was an older Nokia, and I handed it to him.

He turned it around and around in his hands. He asked me, "Isn't this one of the really durable models?"

Before I could answer, he knelt down and slammed it onto the ground, twice. I jumped back, then found my voice and yelled, "What the hell?"

He handed it back to me with a smile, like he had proudly proven himself right. The display was cracked. Badly.

"Um..." I began, and showed him the damage.

He glanced at it. "What?" he asked.

"You broke the display. I think that you owe me a new phone."

He made a face and started making excuses. "It was probably like that beforehand. It wasn't my fault. Those are built to last."

"No... you just slammed it against the ground. I want you to replace it."

He grinned. "No."

Well, this brought the date to a speedy close. I told him that I had to go. He seemed genuinely surprised that I wanted to leave, and even said, "I can't believe you'd want to go just because you broke your own phone."

What a psycho. It turned out all right, though. I filed a police report on my way home, and a little over a week later, a shiny, certified check for the cost of a replacement phone, down to the penny (and including tax!), arrived from Chris in the mail. Thank you!

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Verbal
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby Verbal » Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:07 pm

Engineers are no good. Throw rocks at them.
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

Peter_K
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby Peter_K » Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:16 pm

Perhaps he was an Erection Engineer?
http://www.examiner.com/life-the-cubicl ... le-of-2010

OldSowBreath
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby OldSowBreath » Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:24 pm

So Janie lives in West Lafayette?

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PurduePilot
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby PurduePilot » Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:18 pm

So Janie lives in West Lafayette?
Similar story, but can't be me since I couldn't actually afford to replace the 5 year old Nokia.

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Dummy Pilot
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby Dummy Pilot » Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:16 pm

Serves the bitch right.....

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ZeroAltitude
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby ZeroAltitude » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:09 pm

Then there was the doctor who went for a walk on a lakeshore when he found the lifeless body of a young woman lying in the shallow water.
He immediately knelt down beside the unconscious woman and started moving her arms rhythmitically in an effort to reanimate her.
An engineer came along, stopped and watched the procedure, and then remarked to the doctor "You're not cutting it, you know. You'll have to pull her behind out of the water unless you want to pump all the water out of the lake"

Two engineering students met on the university campus, and one told his story: "You know, the strangest thing happened to me last week.
I was strolling home when that young attractive woman came along on a bicycle, stopped in front of me, threw the bike onto the lawn, undressed completely and said to me 'Hi, you're adorable, I want to give you just about anything you want!'."
"So what did you do?" asked the other student
"Well, I took the bike"
"Good decision, her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway"

ZA
(Engineer)
space intentionally left blank

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Verbal
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby Verbal » Wed Dec 14, 2011 6:30 pm

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

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schmusimausi73
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:14 pm

Image

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schmusimausi73
Mrs. Salami
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:15 pm

Image

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schmusimausi73
Mrs. Salami
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:21 pm

Image

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schmusimausi73
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:26 pm

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PurduePilot
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby PurduePilot » Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:26 am

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Fred seems to bear a striking resemblance to Bill Nye.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH_B66cSNxA

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schmusimausi73
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby schmusimausi73 » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:18 pm

Engineers are no good. Throw rocks at them.
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OldSowBreath
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Re: Don't let an engineer anywhere near your

Postby OldSowBreath » Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:44 pm

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I wouldn't date a broad with a beard.


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