Tales from Flying the Line
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:35 pm
Story #1) I call this the "3WE" Wet Dream scenario....you know, the plane is getting ready to takeoff and the passenger sees ice on the wings or an engine cowl hanging open....What should he do? It finally happened.....
I'm at Kennedy airport getting pushed back and the tow bar breaks midpush. Several minutes go by while we wait for new towbar. We finally get dropped off at the spot holding short of TWY Alpha and start the left engine. The spot we have been dropped of at is where we would normally call Ground for taxi, which we do and we are told to switch to and monitor the other Ground frequency. As soon as we start listening to Ground you can tell it's a classic early evening ClusterF*ck at JFK. It has become gridlock with arriving planes trying to enter alleys that are jammed full of International planes trying to exit and we are probably going to be about #30 for takeoff on 4L. My guess is that they aren't even going to call me for taxi for another 15 minutes and in the meantime, we have the pleasure of listening to Ground control get increasingly irritated with other planes who are screwing up the readbacks of ridiculously complicated taxi instructions...as Flyboy will attest, it's pure entertainment sometimes, particularly listening to some of the foreign crews struggling with a New Yorker's version of rapid fire english. I know that things are so backed up that I get on the PA and tell the people that we are probably looking at a minimum of 45 minutes to an hour of ground time and it will likely be some time before we actually even move for the first time off the ramp. I tell them they can use their cell phones on the ground and that we will give them a call before takeoff to shutt all those electronic devices off. I also tell the F/As to go ahead and start a 'Water' service on the ground.....passing out bottled water to the Pax.
It is worth noting at this point that many F/Os position the flaps as soon as the ramp crew gives the waveoff. However, it's not a requirement from our manuals. In fact, while the manual says the F/O may position the flaps after the salute, they are absolutely not allowed to continue with the Taxi checklist until clear of the congested ramp area. In my experience, some extend the flaps immediatley and some don't do it until I call for the taxi checklist and some do it at some point in between. In any event, I haven't left the ramp and can't call for the Taxi checklist so I don't really give a damn where the flaps are. Further, as I briefed, my biggest 'threat' or concern right now is paying attention to our eventual taxi instructions amongst the non stop radio chatter so that we don't screw it up and get yelled at or worse have a runway incursion. It is also important to point out that while we are far away from our eventual departure runway of 4L, under certain conditions, JFK will operate simultaneous departures from RWY 31L at the TWYKK intersection. (JFK Diagram). We are sitting literally a few feet from this intersection and no doubt the Pax on the right side are watching planes takeoff nearby on 31L. But only planes going over certain departure fixes use 31LKK and we aren't one of them.....we are going all the way to 4L.
We finally get our instructions....'Left on Alpha, right on hotel, follow the Airbus, right on Bravo cross 31L at KA" and I begin to taxi and not 20 feet into the roll I get a chime from the F/A telling me that we have a passenger who is furiously pressing his flight attendant call button and telling her that we are taking off without the flaps down. She tells him eveything is probably fine but she will give me a call...which she has done. Now never mind that we are not even in the mile long line for takeoff which is across the other side of the field and we probably have another half hour of ground time to go. Never mind that I told the Pax the PA that we were nowhere near takeoff. Never mind that I haven't asked the Pax to shut off their electronic devices and the entire cabin is filled with people on their cellphones telling everyone at their destination that they will be late. Never mind that we haven't made the "Flight attendants please prepare for takeoff" PA and I have F/As strolling up and down the aisles handing out water. Nevermind that I have just started taxiing and haven't even called for the Taxi checklist which I plan to delay until I can find my sequence among all the chaos and safely get across RWY 31 and then call for the checklist when things quiet down. Never mind that fact that I've only got one freaking engine running......this guy presumably has been watching planes depart nearby on 31L and as soon as we start to roll for the first time since we unhooked from the tug, he assumes we are taking off.
I tell the F/A that we are nowhere near takeoff and to assure the Pax we will get to the flaps. The F/O teasingly suggests that we should now hold off on the flaps during the half hour taxi to really make the guy sweat....and while I like his thinking, I tell him him 'No'.....but I still hold off on calling for the checklist until we're across the runway and things quiet down. At the destination, the F/A apologized for bothering me during the taxi but I assured her that I always want to hear if there is a problem in back....no matter how trivial it seems. Our nervous pax also stopped by to tell us he has 'some' flight time and he just wanted to prevent an accident. I also assur him that he should always feel free to bring up any concerns though admittedly, after he left there was much eyerolling among the crew. And I would say to everyone that I still want to hear if you have concerns....but try to use a little common sense. Ask yourself if it looks like we are really taking the runway....have they made the "Prepare for takeoff" PA.....did I hear the second engine even start....etc, etc....
I'm at Kennedy airport getting pushed back and the tow bar breaks midpush. Several minutes go by while we wait for new towbar. We finally get dropped off at the spot holding short of TWY Alpha and start the left engine. The spot we have been dropped of at is where we would normally call Ground for taxi, which we do and we are told to switch to and monitor the other Ground frequency. As soon as we start listening to Ground you can tell it's a classic early evening ClusterF*ck at JFK. It has become gridlock with arriving planes trying to enter alleys that are jammed full of International planes trying to exit and we are probably going to be about #30 for takeoff on 4L. My guess is that they aren't even going to call me for taxi for another 15 minutes and in the meantime, we have the pleasure of listening to Ground control get increasingly irritated with other planes who are screwing up the readbacks of ridiculously complicated taxi instructions...as Flyboy will attest, it's pure entertainment sometimes, particularly listening to some of the foreign crews struggling with a New Yorker's version of rapid fire english. I know that things are so backed up that I get on the PA and tell the people that we are probably looking at a minimum of 45 minutes to an hour of ground time and it will likely be some time before we actually even move for the first time off the ramp. I tell them they can use their cell phones on the ground and that we will give them a call before takeoff to shutt all those electronic devices off. I also tell the F/As to go ahead and start a 'Water' service on the ground.....passing out bottled water to the Pax.
It is worth noting at this point that many F/Os position the flaps as soon as the ramp crew gives the waveoff. However, it's not a requirement from our manuals. In fact, while the manual says the F/O may position the flaps after the salute, they are absolutely not allowed to continue with the Taxi checklist until clear of the congested ramp area. In my experience, some extend the flaps immediatley and some don't do it until I call for the taxi checklist and some do it at some point in between. In any event, I haven't left the ramp and can't call for the Taxi checklist so I don't really give a damn where the flaps are. Further, as I briefed, my biggest 'threat' or concern right now is paying attention to our eventual taxi instructions amongst the non stop radio chatter so that we don't screw it up and get yelled at or worse have a runway incursion. It is also important to point out that while we are far away from our eventual departure runway of 4L, under certain conditions, JFK will operate simultaneous departures from RWY 31L at the TWYKK intersection. (JFK Diagram). We are sitting literally a few feet from this intersection and no doubt the Pax on the right side are watching planes takeoff nearby on 31L. But only planes going over certain departure fixes use 31LKK and we aren't one of them.....we are going all the way to 4L.
We finally get our instructions....'Left on Alpha, right on hotel, follow the Airbus, right on Bravo cross 31L at KA" and I begin to taxi and not 20 feet into the roll I get a chime from the F/A telling me that we have a passenger who is furiously pressing his flight attendant call button and telling her that we are taking off without the flaps down. She tells him eveything is probably fine but she will give me a call...which she has done. Now never mind that we are not even in the mile long line for takeoff which is across the other side of the field and we probably have another half hour of ground time to go. Never mind that I told the Pax the PA that we were nowhere near takeoff. Never mind that I haven't asked the Pax to shut off their electronic devices and the entire cabin is filled with people on their cellphones telling everyone at their destination that they will be late. Never mind that we haven't made the "Flight attendants please prepare for takeoff" PA and I have F/As strolling up and down the aisles handing out water. Nevermind that I have just started taxiing and haven't even called for the Taxi checklist which I plan to delay until I can find my sequence among all the chaos and safely get across RWY 31 and then call for the checklist when things quiet down. Never mind that fact that I've only got one freaking engine running......this guy presumably has been watching planes depart nearby on 31L and as soon as we start to roll for the first time since we unhooked from the tug, he assumes we are taking off.
I tell the F/A that we are nowhere near takeoff and to assure the Pax we will get to the flaps. The F/O teasingly suggests that we should now hold off on the flaps during the half hour taxi to really make the guy sweat....and while I like his thinking, I tell him him 'No'.....but I still hold off on calling for the checklist until we're across the runway and things quiet down. At the destination, the F/A apologized for bothering me during the taxi but I assured her that I always want to hear if there is a problem in back....no matter how trivial it seems. Our nervous pax also stopped by to tell us he has 'some' flight time and he just wanted to prevent an accident. I also assur him that he should always feel free to bring up any concerns though admittedly, after he left there was much eyerolling among the crew. And I would say to everyone that I still want to hear if you have concerns....but try to use a little common sense. Ask yourself if it looks like we are really taking the runway....have they made the "Prepare for takeoff" PA.....did I hear the second engine even start....etc, etc....