Flight Report 10-4-2017

[3WE]

Rode two crappy composite Flyboymobiles (with the correct livery) yesterday.

Quick one day trip from Flyover to SLC on the 6:30 AM flight, arriving back in flyover just after midnight.

I looked for vents that would route heated air to the rear cargo compartment and found none...doesn't mean it doesn't go there, but I still have my doubts about how effective 'passive' air movement into an area that contacts the negative-really-ass-cold outside temperatures actually is.

There were no apparent anxiety dogs, nor people with extreme dog allergies, and no one making an ass out of themselves in any way to prompt firm orders from the flight crew or the extraction which should never happen ever.

It was interesting to see these uber-modern planes (in contrast to ancient Boeings) not_have TV screens to give pre-recorded, multicultural PC, safety briefings, recited EXCACTLY according to script.

There was a wonderful new in-flight service- free text messages via the onboard Wi-Fi. I do like Flyboy's cookies, and the soft drinks were as-expected. I forgot how this plane has tiny ass windows.

It was a little stormy on the way into SLC and I believe I experienced my worst turbulence ever. There was a lot of jostling...a fair bit of it laterally...and some lively updrafts and windshears. (I have seen some worse chop including fraction-of-a-second-near-weightlessness in a J-31). Things smoothed out to 'very mundane' for the last few miles and touchdown.

The flight home was very light...had the three seats to myself...Always a special thing to have that happen.

We flew a halfway tight base leg and final to runway 30R...My smartphone said we were near 2300 ft MSL for the base and turn to final. The base leg roughly aligned with Forrest Park (if that means anything to anyone).

I didn't died, but there was a total hostie call button disaster on both flights. They made these rather cryptic new light consoles...there's a really tiny light icon- but you have to push about 1/2" away from that icon. Not too far away is a much more prominent hostie call button.

On the flight out, the FA carefully announced the button location...and then dimmed the lights...suddenly about 10 calls went out. Explanations were not give on the flight home, but yet again...the lights were dimmed and then a mass cacophony of the well-known ding...

...scientific aeroengineers strike again- and just think about it...if they ever forget the wing flaps, the pilots will simply dismiss my call button use- thinking the lights have been dimmed!

[flyboy2548m]

Actually, the livery you're talking about, their A320s DO have heated cargo bins.

[Not_Karl]

I looked for vents that would route heated air to the rear cargo compartment and found none...doesn't mean it doesn't go there, but I still have my doubts about how effective 'passive' air movement into an area that contacts the negative-really-ass-cold outside temperatures actually is.

Did you asked the crew and challenge their answers?

It was interesting to see these uber-modern planes (in contrast to ancient Boeings) not_have TV screens to give pre-recorded, multicultural PC, safety briefings, recited EXCACTLY according to script.

That's good, one less electrical system to catch fire.

There was a lot of jostling...a fair bit of it laterally...and some lively updrafts and windshears.

Are you sure it wasn't just Flyboy testing the rudder travel limiter?

The flight home was very light...had the three seats to myself...Always a special thing to have that happen.

Did they force you to pay extra?

We flew a halfway tight base leg and final to runway 30R...My smartphone said we were near 2300 ft MSL for the base and turn to final.

Were you ready to storm the cockpit in case the altitude fell below safe limits?

I didn't died

Good to know.

...scientific aeroengineers strike again- and just think about it...if they ever forget the wing flaps, the pilots will simply dismiss my call button use- thinking the lights have been dimmed!

Just switch the lights, the hosties will note something strange and come to see what happens.

[3WE]

Actually, the livery you're talking about, their A320s DO have heated cargo bins.

I can't quite get the right vision...maybe the TV game show Jeapordy...Welcome our contestants today...Evan...Bobby....Ike....

"Yes, Alex, I'll take cargo-bin heating for $250"...

[3WE]

3BS: We flew a halfway tight base leg and final to runway 30R...My smartphone said we were near 2300 ft MSL for the base and turn to final.

No_Soy Carlos: Were you ready to storm the cockpit in case the altitude fell below safe limits?

No, but as you can imagine, it was a little bit stressful.

You are going slow and let's say the pilots pulled up a little bit too much while in that horribly steep 30 degree bank with flaps going to full and leveling off a bit, and decaying speed and a cramping crosswind where you lose airspeed as you pick up a tailwind AND want to bank more...

1600 feet is not a lot of altitude for recovery, even if you are one of those pilots who religiously believes in 3BS and Gabe's don't stall manual.

On the positive side, airplane stuff is moderately reliable and the highly-automated aircraft may have prevented the stupid cowboy pilot from doing exactly that...assuming they didn't hit a huge swarm of grasshoppers to goober up the pitot tubes.

[3WE]

3BS: There was a lot of jostling...a fair bit of it laterally...and some lively updrafts and windshears.

Not_Karlie: Are you sure it wasn't just Flyboy testing the rudder travel limiter?

Yes.

There were dark clouds (and I worried that there may have been red radar returns that Bobby absolutely never ever flies through because his really big jet has a really big wheel and a whole handful of power levers and takes a lot of hours of experience and lots of miles of final approach to keep in stable flight.)

There were also mountains that disrupt smooth airflow, and lots of virga-ish rainfall visible out of the tiny windows.

[3WE]

Crap...hit the ole quotes instead of the pencil.....

3BS: We flew a halfway tight base leg and final to runway 30R...My smartphone said we were near 2300 ft MSL for the base and turn to final.

No_Soy Carlos: Were you ready to storm the cockpit in case the altitude fell below safe limits?

No, but as you can imagine, it was a little bit stressful.

You are going slow and let's say the pilots pulled up a little bit too much while in that horribly steep 30 degree bank with flaps going to full and leveling off a bit, and decaying speed and a cramping crosswind where you lose airspeed as you pick up a tailwind AND want to bank more...

1600 feet is not a lot of altitude for recovery, even if you are one of those pilots who religiously believes in 3BS and Gabe's broadly-applicable-not_type-specific don't stall manual.

On the positive side, airplane stuff is moderately reliable and the highly-automated aircraft may have prevented the stupid cowboy pilot from doing exactly that...assuming they didn't hit a huge swarm of grasshoppers to goober up the pitot tubes.

[3WE]

Rode two crappy composite Flyboymobiles (with the correct livery) yesterday.

I forgot this: There was also a near-total-PA-system-feedback disaster!!!!!!

1. They almost didn't get the safety briefing done.
2. We almost did did dieded from the awful screeching.
3. I did not hear this uttered, but I know folks were thinking, "What's the damn PA system doing now"

(Given that this happened on BOTH flights, I wonder if I actually just rode ONE crappy composite Flyboymobile but rode it twice.

Maybe I should check Flightaware.)

[Not_Karl]

(Given that this happened on BOTH flights, I wonder if I actually just rode ONE crappy composite Flyboymobile but rode it twice.

Aren't those cheap-composite-sometimes-without-climate-controlled-cargo-bins-crackerboxes discarded after each flight?