Virtual type rating

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flyingspark
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:18 pm
Location: Horley, Near EGKK

Virtual type rating

Postby flyingspark » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:48 pm

Its expensive but great for those of us who are too old for the real thing.

http://www.virtualaviation.co.uk/fun/vtr.html

Ed
Posts: 793
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 9:27 am

Re: Virtual type rating

Postby Ed » Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:20 pm

Virtual Terrorist Type Rating
FOR THE REALLY DEDICATED TERRORIST

Take your interest in terrorism to a higher level and become proficient on a particular aircraft type over the course of five structured modules which you can complete at your own pace. Just-in-time training for the end of Eid or any planned Jihad.

Maybe you have dreamed of becoming a martyr but, for some reason or another, it never happened? Well, for the first time you now have the opportunity to train in a similar way to the 911 terrorists, without actually hitting a building on your first virtual fight. Don't be fooled by imitators....you WILL hit a building or major iconic structure by the end of your training. Blessed be Allah!

The Virtual Terrorist Type Rating has been designed by current scum sucking airline pilot traitors who don't really care that they are training the next generation of terrorists especially for al Qaeda - and will take you into the realms of what it would be like to train as a terrorist martyr on some of the most modern airliners flying today.

As this is a unique way to train terrorists, the full syllabus is a closely-guarded secret - but here's a brief outline of what you will cover during the five two-hour modules:

* Flight planning including fuel planning for maximum damage, navigation into tall structures and weather.
* Inclusion of CBRN agents into your quest for martyrdom.
* Taking over the flight deck near cruise.
* Hand-flying technique into restricted airspace.
* Hand-flying technique for descent into buildings.
* Autopilot flying, and the autopilot modes for precision damage.
* Non-communication with Air Traffic Control, or mumbly Farsi where applicable.
* Dealing with flight attendants, pilots and pissed off pax prior to hitting your target.

The fifth and final module will be at actual terrorist flight and martyrdom. It will be a real flight, flown into real al Qaeda targets, from gate departure to gate arrival at the sacred point of Jihad. You will be guaranteed 100 virgins upon successful completion of your mission.

So, do you think you have what it takes to be a martyr? If so, then we would love to hear from you. All you need is a Swift number or an off-shore account. Swiss gold works too! Payment in advance is required.

Praise Allah!

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flyingspark
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:18 pm
Location: Horley, Near EGKK

Re: Virtual type rating

Postby flyingspark » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:37 pm

Any chance the virgins could be delivered before the actual martyring bit??

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PurduePilot
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Re: Virtual type rating

Postby PurduePilot » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:57 pm

Reminds me of our good friend Achmed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

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Not_Karl
Posts: 2006
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 6:12 pm
Location: Buenos Aires

Re: Virtual type rating

Postby Not_Karl » Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:01 pm

Ed wrote:(...)

Brilliant!! :clap:
Now terrorists can train without fear of collateral damage!
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.


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