Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

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3WE
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Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby 3WE » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:19 pm

...from one of Flyboy's countrymen as opposed to Deutschland.
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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby Not_Karl » Wed Apr 12, 2017 9:35 pm

Food contamination:
-I would completely ban crewmembers from eating and drinking from 24 hours before flying until after the landing. That would also limit the "one pilot goes to the bathroom and the other crashes the plane" risk (but I would still force them to wear diapers, just in case), and Flyboy's usual routine of drunken forest running.

Fire protection:
-To reduce the chances of a deadly fire after a landing screw-up by stupid pilots, airplanes should only land on water. For those affected by unsightly scars, free boob implants (independent of gender) to distract other people from viewing the scars.
-Water landing survivability: Make inflatable planes.

Braking:
-Make the whole runway from EMAS (not necessary if landing in water, see above).
- With respect to nets, I seem to remember watching a movie as a young Not_Karlie in which a Concorde (or maybe a fictional SST) was successfully slowed down with like a million of them.

I'm somewhat surprised that he did not propose the good old detachable cabin.

Apparently Evanie does not like the idea of ballistic parachutes...
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"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby flyboy2548m » Thu Apr 13, 2017 12:53 am

3WE wrote:...from one of Flyboy's countrymen as opposed to Deutschland.


Since when am I a Polak?
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3WE
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby 3WE » Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:59 am

flyboy2548m wrote:
3WE wrote:...from one of Flyboy's countrymen as opposed to Deutschland.


Since when am I a Polak?


All you Easterners look alike...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb0QLxcvowk
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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby Not_Karl » Thu Apr 13, 2017 3:23 am

3WE wrote:
flyboy2548m wrote:
3WE wrote:...from one of Flyboy's countrymen as opposed to Deutschland.


Since when am I a Polak?


All you Easterners look alike...

Isn't he as American as apple pie and blame?
Image
:mrgreen:
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"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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Gabriel
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby Gabriel » Thu Apr 13, 2017 5:24 am

3WE wrote:All you Easterners look alike...

Yes! Yellow!!!

(What? Not that Easterners?)

elaw
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby elaw » Thu Apr 13, 2017 11:39 am

Not_Karl wrote:Isn't he as American as apple pie and blame?

Wikipedia wrote:Apple pie was brought to the colonies by the British, Dutch, and Swedes during the 17th and 18th centuries.

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby Not_Karl » Thu Apr 13, 2017 1:56 pm

elaw wrote:
Not_Karl wrote:Isn't he as American as apple pie and blame?

Wikipedia wrote:Apple pie was brought to the colonies by the British, Dutch, and Swedes during the 17th and 18th centuries.

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

My whole life is a lie! :cry:
As american as greasy fast food, then?
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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3WE
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby 3WE » Thu Apr 13, 2017 6:21 pm

Not_Karl wrote:
elaw wrote:
Not_Karl wrote:Isn't he as American as apple pie and blame?

Wikipedia wrote:Apple pie was brought to the colonies by the British, Dutch, and Swedes during the 17th and 18th centuries.

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

My whole life is a lie! :cry:
As american as greasy fast food, then?


America also invented Pizza and French Fries, Chinese food and Chimichangas as proven by an internet search: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yv7UJLOyERs

Also note that it contains a Frenchman.
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elaw
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby elaw » Thu Apr 13, 2017 6:40 pm

And let's not forget the king of all foods:
Image
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3WE
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby 3WE » Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:31 pm

elaw wrote:And let's not forget the king of all foods:
Image


Wrong.

That's British.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

Thank you, Sickbag.
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elaw
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby elaw » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:28 am

Bloody vikings! :mrgreen:
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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: Various suggestions for safety improvements.

Postby Not_Karl » Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:22 am

3WE wrote:America also invented Pizza and Freedom Fries, Chinese food and Chimichangas.

Fixed.
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"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby Ancient Mariner » Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:16 pm

elaw wrote:Bloody vikings! :mrgreen:

What did we do? Except from some mild trading and a bit of exploring?
Per

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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby Not_Karl » Mon May 01, 2017 5:47 am

External airbags, of course! :clap:
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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3WE
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby 3WE » Mon May 01, 2017 4:27 pm

Not_Karl wrote:External airbags, of course! :clap:


I had this book as a kid:

https://www.amazon.com/Great-Internatio ... 0671211293

It would almost be worth it for Not_Karl and Gabriel (when he's in town) to take a trip together to the Good Air's Biblioteca Pública, check this out and study it.

(or you guys order one for Argentina and I get one for Me, Eric (and flyboy?) to share from Amazon)

Not only does this book lay out the plans for great aircraft that fly beautifully with no input from FBW computers NOR flawed human beings...

It contains some basic diagrams for the Super-Sonic-Detachable-Wing (acronym SSDW).

An outstanding concept that we should have adopted long ago!

You jettison the wings (and all of that nasty, fire-feeding fuel), and then a series of three different sizes of parachutes slows the plane to a nice, gentle landing.

Plus, the thing is super sonic.

(If only the Concorde had these features, but hey, what else do you expect from the Frenchmen?)
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Not_Karl
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby Not_Karl » Mon May 01, 2017 10:52 pm

3WE wrote:or you guys order one for Argentina

Unable; fascist-liberal-commie-imperialist-conservative-xenophobe-dumb-gun-and fast food-loving-ignorant-trumpist-clintonian-American Amazon does not ship to Argentina :x :x . (...and importing items is a pretty tedious and sucky experience, anyway).
3WE wrote:but hey, what else do you expect from the Frenchmen?)

Surrender?

SSDW is an interesting concept. Maybe we should propose it there? They love acronyms!

I had a book with instructions and colorful sheets of paper to make paper planes when I was younger...
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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3WE
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THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby 3WE » Mon May 01, 2017 11:19 pm

Not_Karl wrote:SSDW is an interesting concept. Maybe we should propose it there? They love acronyms!


3BS STILL HAS HIS GREAT INTERNATIONAL PAPER AIRPLANE BOOK, AND HAS LOCATED THE PROPOSAL FOR THE SSDW.

Stand by for a great safety-improvement idea to be posted...there.
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Not_Karl
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Re: THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby Not_Karl » Mon May 01, 2017 11:22 pm

3WE wrote:
Not_Karl wrote:SSDW is an interesting concept. Maybe we should propose it there? They love acronyms!


3BS STILL HAS HIS GREAT INTERNATIONAL PAPER AIRPLANE BOOK, AND HAS LOCATED THE PROPOSAL FOR THE SSDW.

Stand by for a great safety-improvement idea to be posted...there.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

Should I prepare some microwave popcorn in advance?
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"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

elaw
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Re: THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby elaw » Mon May 01, 2017 11:32 pm

3WE wrote:Stand by for a great safety-improvement idea to be posted...there.

Airbags for paper airplanes?
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3WE
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Re: THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby 3WE » Mon May 01, 2017 11:44 pm

Not_Karl wrote:Should I prepare some microwave popcorn in advance?

elaw wrote:Airbags for paper airplanes?


You must come to Flyover. I will supply beer and popcorn made with GMO vegetable oil and butter.

You can easily get to Flyover by booking three or four connecting flights through major hubs (at really cheap Internet fares). Please try to be compliant with the crew and hopefully you will not be subjected to an overbooking involuntary deplaning (and hopefully weather and maintenance will allow you to arrive with in 24 hours of the scheduled time, per the COC).

We will review the Great International Paper Airplane book, and hang out at the airport fence and roughly once an hour catch an aircraft taking off or landing...we can take unfocused, poorly-lit, photos with distracting background clutter. I can show you once, nice subdivisions, cleared for a 1-billion dollar runway to handle lots of TWA aircraft- including turbo-prop puddle jumpers from many "Essential-Service-Towns" in Middle America. However, we are not likely to see a wide-body aircraft.
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Not_Karl
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Re: THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby Not_Karl » Tue May 02, 2017 12:19 am

3WE wrote:You must come to Flyover. I will supply beer and popcorn made with GMO vegetable oil and butter.

You can easily get to Flyover by booking three or four connecting flights through major hubs (at really cheap Internet fares). Please try to be compliant with the crew and hopefully you will not be subjected to an overbooking involuntary deplaning (and hopefully weather and maintenance will allow you to arrive with in 24 hours of the scheduled time, per the COC).

We will review the Great International Paper Airplane book, and hang out at the airport fence and roughly once an hour catch an aircraft taking off or landing...we can take unfocused, poorly-lit, photos with distracting background clutter. I can show you once, nice subdivisions, cleared for a 1-billion dollar runway to handle lots of TWA aircraft- including turbo-prop puddle jumpers from many "Essential-Service-Towns" in Middle America. However, we are not likely to see a wide-body aircraft.

I don't know... the offer is tempting, but I fear I may have become a foffie :oops: . I'm having a recurring nightmare where I try to retrieve my carry-on luggage from a burning plane and then an elderly captain zip-ties me while a retired paramedic stomps over me :cry:
Junior Janitor, Vandelay Industries, Inc., Environmental Poisoning Assurance department.

"I think, based on the types of aircraft listed, you're pretty much guaranteed a fiery death."
- Contemporary Poet flyboy2548m to a Foffie.

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3WE
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Re: THERE HAS BEEN A NEAR TOTAL GLORIOUS DISCOVERY!!!!!

Postby 3WE » Tue May 02, 2017 1:27 am

Not_Karl wrote:I don't know... the offer is tempting, but I fear I may have become a foffie :oops: . I'm having a recurring nightmare where I try to retrieve my carry-on luggage from a burning plane and then an elderly captain zip-ties me while a retired paramedic stomps over me :cry:


Concur.

That plus dual ELACAS failure, totally unpredictable clear-air-turbulence, no TOPMS, obsolete electronic systems, pilot-bathroom-break-with-only-one-person-in-the-cockpit-enhanced suicide and relentless pull ups and no SSDW system...

...one is pretty much guaranteed a fiery death (as flyboy once suggested). :shock:
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3WE
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Re: Seen there: How to stop tired stupid pilots from crashing.

Postby 3WE » Wed May 03, 2017 3:17 pm

The resolution of my scan of the SSDW there was a bit on the fuzzy side. Sharing it here, as it is kind of fun to look at the great thought that went into things AND as to how we outsiders handled our great safety ideas in the late 1960's, long before internet-supported parlour talk.

Edit: I also love including a semi-official citation credit: Edward E. Keyse, in The Great International Paper Airplane Book. By Jerry Mander, George Dippel and Howard Gossage. Simon and Schuster, New York. 1967. P. 46.

And the statement that the although the book is mostly about paper airplanes, it also contained a section on ideas for 'real' aircraft.

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