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TOTAL IFE DISASTER!!!!!

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2025 8:27 pm
by 3WE
Monchie doesn’t let me in in the morning. Thus a doubt post since FB won’t get me back to it when Monchie wakes up.

I found this lightning strike “report” mildly entertaining and embellished:
T-3:15 DAL199 (Pilot) "Atlanta Center, Delta 199 heavy, we... uh... we think we just won the lottery."

T-3:10 ATC (Controller) "Delta 199, say again? Did you get a ride report for us?"

T-3:05 DAL199 (Pilot) "Negative, Center. We were just struck by lightning. Seriously.
A big one. Right on the nose."

T-3:00 ATC "Roger, Delta 199. Confirming a lightning strike. Any system warnings, smoke, or visible damage?"

T-2:50 DAL199 (Pilot) "Negative warnings, but the First Officer's coffee just performed a full acrobatic maneuver and now my entire side of the cockpit smells faintly of burnt ozone and very dark roast. Also, our Wi-Fi just went out. This is a tragedy, Center."

T-2:35 ATC "(Slight chuckle) Roger that, Delta 199. Appreciate the detailed assessment. Are you declaring an emergency or prepared to continue the approach?"

T-2:25 DAL199 (Pilot) "We're stable, Center. But request a high-speed taxi and the full maintenance crew meet us at the gate. I need them to look at the fuselage, and more importantly, the coffee stain. It's a structural issue now."

T-2:15 ATC "Understood, Delta 199. Expect vectors for a straight-in to runway 27 Right. Maintenance is advised for... the structural coffee issue. And, uh, if you see a scorched piece of metal tape missing from your nose, it's just a souvenir. It happens."

T-2:00 DAL199 (Pilot) "Copy that, Center. And if you hear a strange electrical buzzing during the approach, that's just the First Officer trying to jump-start the in-flight entertainment system. Priorities."

T-1:50 ATC "Delta 199, roger. Maintain visual separation from that buzzing. Cleared to land, 27 Right. Welcome to Atlanta."

T-1:40 DAL199 (Pilot) "Cleared to land, 27 Right. Thank you, Center. Could you put an ice pack on the maintenance request, too? For the First Officer's forehead."